My never
by Unflavored
Summary: Will you wait for me in time? It's never my luck, so never mine... I want to say your name but the pain starts again. I can try to be with you but somehow I'll end up just losing a friend. I can only reach for you, relate to you, now I'm losing my friend.
1. Time to let go

**A/N:** _Hi you all! I want to thank everyone who reviewed my other stories. It means more than you can imagine to me. _

_This will be a short chapter fan fiction. It takes place between season 4 and 5 (the missing years). It's mainly Brucas, but you will get a glimpse of all the characters. I hope you enjoy it. And please let me know what you think about the story ok? Reviews are very much appreciated. And I'll heart you forever if you do it! _

_The title and summary of this fiction belong to the song "_My never"_ by _Blue October_ – I recommend it to you cause it has everything to do with the story. _

**Disclaimer**: _I do not own any of One Tree Hill's character. The beginning of this story has part of the lyrics of a song called Goodbye, by Alicia Keys._

* * *

**Time to let go**

_But_ how do I let go _when I've_  
Loved him for so long _and I've  
Given him all that I could  
Maybe _love_ is a hopeless _crime_  
Giving up what seems your lifetime  
What went _wrong_ with something once so good  
It's so hard to just let go  
When this is _the one and only love_ I've ever known_

**Letter # 83**

_You_, who _cannot_ be named, – Whatever – Lucas,

I got home, well, Rachel's home, about half an hour ago. And I couldn't do anything, except grabbing this piece of paper, and start writing to you. As you probably know, and as I'm definitely sure, I'm writing something you will never read. How messed up am I? I did this once before, but twice, it is just too **damn lame**. But what can I do? Grab the phone and call you? What would I say? _"Hi, best friend's boyfriend, I really feel like talking to you tonight. Because maybe this might be the last night we will have a chance to talk to each other, and I really need some broody time." _Yeah, just as I thought. **Not** going to happen. Plus, you certainly are with Peyton right now, I mean, she **is **your currently girlfriend and she will be leaving to LA tomorrow morning _(it is completely understandable you both being together…)_

Well, today was our last day as seniors, how weird is that? We won't get to see each other every day, even if it's quickly, just a wave from across the school halls. We won't chat with our friends all the time, and have lunch together. We won't get to see the Ravens kicking some other team's ass. I won't cheer. You won't play.

We will be leaving for college and maybe we won't keep the promise we made, to come back here and make things all the same. How weird it is that, even though I had so much fun with Chase tonight, the only thing I can think about right now is how much I **am** going to miss **you**? I won't get to look into your bright eyes when you are holding your little sister in your arms, in fact I won't be able to pick on you for being such a dork around a baby. I won't smell your perfume around the classroom or smile at the glimpse of **your** smile. Stalker much? We won't talk as much and we will definitely not be such good friends anymore. Thinking about all that, it gives me such a curious feeling. It's a different kind of hurting. Especially because I spent most of this year trying to convince myself I don't love you anymore, I tried to get used to the feeling of you not loving me back. I planned every single second how my last day in Tree Hill would be and none of it had **me** missing **you**. I'd be **so** totally over you by now, and so into Chase that everything would be easier - despite the fact that I'd be probably talking about how much I'd miss Chase, right? But it all backfired. I just needed a glance at you playing basketball with the boys to know. _I am never getting over you, Lucas Scott._ This feeling will **never** go away.

It's funny how, a few months ago, I told you I wasn't missing you anymore and that mostly I was with you only for your sake, not mine. Funny, because you looked me in the eyes and you couldn't read me at all, you couldn't see that it was a gigantic pledge of love. I was begging you to say you missed me, that you needed me and that I couldn't let you go. I desperately wanted you to **fight** for me. That day I realized you weren't the guy for me, because you didn't want to be. The moment I left your house I knew you didn't love me enough. And after crying for hours waiting for a phone call or for you to show up at my door, I understood that it was about her. **Peyton**. The next day, the first thing I saw was both of you together. I know that you weren't dating yet, but it didn't take long until it happened, did it? It was just a matter of time. I was right all along, you both are made for each other, and I'm just in the way. That's what I do best, though, isn't it? Getting in the way...

But that doesn't mean I don't understand things. Because I do. I understand it now, you know? I mean, you **are in love** with Peyton. And how can I blame you for that? She is the most wonderful girl I've ever met, she is **my best friend**, and she is the only family I know. I love her so much. We've been friends since forever and there's nothing I wouldn't do to keep her in my life. I'd do anything to make her happy. And if that means giving up on the true love of my life – who does **not** think of me as his true love – well, I say, I'll do it. I know she would do just the same for me. Peyton, more than anyone, needs to be happy. She deserves to be the happiest person alive. She had a pretty messed up life, and I know **you** can make it all better to her. You made it all better to me. So, yeah, I **do** understand. – _And eventually it won't hurt as much._

I have no idea why I'm writing all of this, maybe I'm trying to understand my own feelings towards you, towards Peyton… I don't know. Maybe it's just an attempt to take this pain away from my chest. Or maybe to learn how to **let you go**. It's about time, anyway. In this letter, I promise you I'm going to move on. I'll keep my feelings to myself and will not get between you and my best friend. I will wish, each day, happiness to both of you. And from now on I'll make sure Peyton has the life I wanted to have. She will have everything. And, in order for that to happen, neither of you is ever going to find out about how I truly feel. **Peyton's heart is my heart** and you will keep it safe this time. I'm giving you a chance to make the three of us happy for once. I'm giving you up for good. And you better not break her heart because you are not allowed to break mine again.

Yours forever,

_Pretty Gir__l – _yeah, right _– _Brooke Davis.

**--**

Brooke walks into Peyton's room; she has her sunglasses on top of her head and holds two cute beach hats on her hand. Both of the hats have softer tops and visor-style rims in front that go a bit further than a visor and then the rim softens around the back, they also have a scarf that ties around them above the rim and hangs gently down over the back. One scarf is light pink, the other one is light green. She sights heavily as soon as she spots the blond girl still lying asleep in bed.

"Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer!" she yells and throws one hat at her direction. "You haven't even showered yet?" she says annoyed while picking up the hat that didn't reach the bed.

The other girl places her pillow on top of her head. "Why do you always have to yell, Brooke?" she complains with a raspy voice.

"Well, I'm certainly _not_ yelling, I'm just thrilled! It's summer!" Brooke giggles. "And we are so going to California and spending the whole day at the beach, looking at hot tanned boys." She sits on the edge of the bed; "How come you are not excited about that?" she pokes her friend's thighs.

"Maybe because I will leave my own hot _not-so-tanned_ boy right here." Peyton looks from underneath her pillow searching for Brooke's face.

The brunette pulls the pillow away. Peyton is pouting.

"Oh, come on, P. Sawyer." She rolls her eyes. "You will get the rest of your life to look at Lucas's baby white ass." She holds her friend's hand, making her stand up. "Now, you go take a very quick shower because I don't want us missing our plane." She helps Peyton get out of bed with a big grin upon her face.

Peyton goes straight to her bathroom, "By the way, I'm not using that hat." She yells back, closing the door behind her.

Brooke chuckles, "You know you are!"

"_Not_", the blonde girl completes her friend's sentence peering from the door.

"But I made them for us." She says in a childish voice and pouts. "You think it's ugly?"

Peyton frowns. She feels a little embarrassed to have made fun of one of Brooke's designs. She doesn't know what to say. Brooke can't help but laugh.

"Liar!" Peyton throws a towel at the girl once she realizes the brunette was playing a joke on her, "You did not make them."

"Well, unless my artistic name is _Ralph Lauren_, nope I did not. But I could totally make a few changes in here." She points to the scarf.

Peyton rolls her eyes closing the door behind her again.

**--**

Haley is sitting on a rocking chair. She is mumbling an old lullaby while holding her son close in her arms. He is peacefully staring at her, as if trying to memorize all her features. She is looking right back at him, gently caressing his little head with her fingers. Both mom and baby have the most loving expressions someone could ever see.

Nathan stops at the doorframe. He looks at his family; he takes a mental picture of them and feels his heart filling with joy. He'd never felt so complete. The tall man is smiling at them, and wishing to hold on to that feeling forever. Slowly, so he wouldn't scare her son and wife, he walks near the rocking chair.

Haley looks up to meet his eyes; he places one hand on her shoulder and leans down to kiss her forehead. She closes her eyes with the touch of his lips.

"G'morning." he says sweetly.

Haley smiles at him in return. Little James Lucas Scott is already asleep in her arms. "The girls are leaving this morning, you think we should go to the airport and say goodbye?"

Nathan nods. It's the least they can do, considering they are not sure when they will see their friends again. He takes his son on his arms, "Sure. They will like that."

"I think Deb won't mind staying with Jamie, do you?" she stands up.

Before Nathan can answer, Deb walks in the nursery room with a big smile, "Of course I don't mind." she whispers so the baby won't wake up. "You both can go and say goodbye to your friends." she stretched her arms so Nathan would hand her the baby.

"Thank you, Deb." Haley says grateful.

"Any time." she holds her grandson, "As long as neither of you keep calling each five seconds." she winks.

The young married couple laughs shyly.

"We promise." Haley is the first one to say something.

"We trust you, mom." Nathan gives her a kiss on the cheek.

Deb smiles heartedly and walks to place Jamie back on his crib.

**--**

Brooke and Peyton are done with the check in. They are now waiting for the announcement of their boarding gate number. Both girls are wearing comfortable summer clothes. The brunette is smiling a lot more than the other one. She is definitely excited about this trip. Her smile fades away only when she spots a well dressed boy coming towards them. She nudges Peyton's elbow with her own. The blonde girl grins.

"Hi, Brooke." he says, smiling affectively.

"Chase! What a… surprise!" she fakes enthusiasm.

"I wanted to say goodbye in person before you left." he stares at her.

"Oh, whoa, that's... nice." it's all she can come up with.

Peyton tries to hold her laugh. She fakes a cough. Brooke pinches her friend's hips playfully without Chase noticing. Then she turns her head to face her and gives her a dirty look. Peyton chuckles.

"I have something for you." Chase says, interrupting the girls; he is unaware of their girly teen manners.

Brooke turns her attention back to him. He takes a small box out of his pocket. It's wrapped in a blue shiny paper. The boy gives it to her. She smiles softly at his display of affection and holds the gift.

She starts unwrapping it. "Oh, Chase! It's... beautiful." she says honestly, staring at the delicate silver necklace attached to an even prettier, white gold, cursive letter B pendant.

"You like it?" he smiles shyly, running nervously a hand through his dark hair.

"Are you kidding me? I love it." she hugs him, "Thank you." she pecks him on the lips.

"Lucas!" Peyton shouts.

Brooke takes her hands off of Chase as soon as she hears the name coming out of her best friend's mouth. She glances around quickly and sees Lucas, Haley and Nathan walking towards them.

Peyton runs and wraps her arms around Lucas' neck. He holds her close and lifts her a little bit from the ground. They kiss passionately. Haley rolls her eyes, walking faster into Brooke's direction.

"Did you really think we wouldn't come here and say goodbye?" she slaps Brooke's butt playfully; "We can never know if we will see you again once you become an international fashion designer." she giggles.

"I would never forget you guys. You should know me better than that, _tutor mom_." Brooke places her arms around her friend's and pulls her into a warm bear hug. "And I am coming back to the baptism, you know that right?" she peers at Nathan. "Or did you guys change your mind?" she seems oddly scared. "You didn't, right?"

"Of course not, Brooke." Nathan laughs. "And miss the opportunity of having your bad influence into our son's life? Never."

Haley chuckles, "Yeah, plus you are going to be even richer which will be great for Jamie's college funds."

Brooke slaps their arms at the same time, giggling. "You guys are _so_ taking this all back when I prove to you I am the most qualified godmother ever." She threatens them with her index finger, causing them all to laugh.

"We know that, Brooke. That's why we chose you." Haley winks.

Brooke feels her eyes water, "So, no need for sad goodbyes! We will be back in a month!" she smiles fondly at them before the conversation gets too emotional.

Lucas and Peyton approach them.

"So, are you going to take good care of my girl?" Lucas smiles at Brooke. He has his arms around his girlfriend's shoulders.

Brooke winces and smiles uneasily. "Isn't that what I always do?" she forces a grin. Brooke can feel her whole body shaking, but she learned how to fake each one of her emotions and neither of her friends, besides Haley, can get a glimpse of how jealous or hurt she feels at the moment. They start chatting; Nathan includes Chase in the conversation. The boys are talking about basketball, as usual. Peyton is listening carefully to them.

Brooke is quiet now, definitely not showing her big smile anymore. Right now, her best friend is the one who's happy and shiny.

Once in a while Haley glances at Brooke, she certainly knows something is wrong, but she doesn't say anything. If Brooke isn't ready to open up her heart to her, she won't pressure the girl. She just makes sure her friend is ok. She talks to her about Jamie and other things that might get Brooke's interest. She does her best to avoid any uncomfortable situation to her former cheerleader captain.

Chase reaches for Brooke's hands. She holds his hand back, smiling with the corner of her lips. She feels protect to have him holding her, especially when Peyton and Lucas are shoving their honeymoon stage of a relationship on her.

For some reason, once Chase and Brooke are so close to each other, Lucas avoids looking at them. He glimpses back and forth to their hands entwined together, he isn't paying attention to any of the words Nathan is saying. No one else notices his involuntary movements.

Brooke and Chase are having their own conversation, he is making her laugh. She finally feels like herself again. The young woman doesn't even realize that yet. She is too caught up in the moment, and right now, all she wants is to remain that peaceful.

Brooke opens the small box again and hands Chase her brand new necklace; she turns her back at him and holds her hair up so he can help her with it. Chase gently puts the silver jewelry around her neck. She smiles at him as soon as he is done. She isn't trying to get Lucas' attention, in fact, she isn't aware that she has his attention at all. Lucas is no longer holding his girlfriend.

Suddenly his eyes meets Brooke's gaze. They stare at each other for a few seconds, which is enough to make her heart beat faster inside her chest. They break eye contact as soon as they hear the passengers of the girl's flight being called.

Peyton hugs Lucas abruptly. He wraps his arms around her. He isn't paying attention to Brooke anymore. His blonde girlfriend is, once again, everything he wants.

Brooke sighs; she hugs her friends and gives Chase a gentle goodbye kiss.

They all say their goodbyes. Peyton pulls her best friend by the hand and they walk to the boarding gate.

* * *

_Special thanks to my beta reader (BleedLikeMe) cause she rocks!  
_


	2. Family Ties

**A/N:** _Thank you so much **TeamSophia** and** toddntan** for the reviews, you both made my day! I hope you all enjoy this new chapter!_ _Also thanks to my beta reader, BleedLikeMe - Lucca, for being so understanding and patient._

**Disclaimer: **_the introduction belongs to _U2_, its part of their lyrics for '_"With or Without you"._ I do not own any of One Tree Hill characters. They are all Mark's babies. _

* * *

**Family ties**

_Through the storm, we reach the shore  
_You gave it all but I want more  
_And I'm _waiting_ for you  
With or without you  
With or without you.  
I can't live with or without you._

**Letter #84**

Lucas McDreamy Scott,

It was really difficult for me to be standing so near to you today, considering I've been missing you a lot over the last couple of weeks. I mean, this summer was great. I finally enjoyed being with my best friend again. We really needed to spend some quality time together without **you** being around, you know? It's always so much harder when I need to compete for your attention - or hers for that matter. So, call me self-centered, but it was nice to have my best friend all to myself a little bit. I still can't believe summer is almost gone. It still feels like we will come back to Tree Hill for good once it's over. But deep inside I know that this will never happen. Not for me, anyway. I can't come back. I've been thinking **a lot** lately, and I'm not sure if I even want to go to college anymore. I found this place in _New York City_ where I'd be able to get some classes for my upcoming fashion designer career, plus there is this model I met last year who is willing to help me out there. She knows a few people who can introduce me to the **right** people, you know? And I'm thinking about it... maybe I'll be really moving to NYC. It would be good for me, _I think_. I haven't talked to anyone about this before, or at all, I guess I'm just scared to grow up or to make the wrong decisions. I don't know, sometimes it seems so weird not sharing my plans with you. I guess I need to get used to the fact that we are not a couple anymore.

But today, being back in Tree Hill was really nice. When we were holding Jamie together, it felt like we were connected again. And because of the little guy I'm sure we'll **always** be. I feel so glad for Haley and Nathan, they not only love each other like crazy, but they have a son, an adorable little boy. They have this small perfect family and there is nothing I would want more than what they already have. The bad thing about wanting this so much is that my dream will only be perfect and complete if you are part of it. It does not feel right if you aren't. I mean, I want **you** to be the man I will come home to. I want **your** kids, and **our** picket fenced white house. And it hurts so much to know that we don't share the same dreams anymore. That instead of me, _Peyton_ will be the one having **my** McLife.

Maybe that's why I'm still here writing this undeliverable letter while everyone else is outside having fun. You all have your life figured out; you have your matches and your own dreams. And it's like I'm still stuck in high school, alone. Gosh, when did I become _Emo-Peyton_ and she got all of **my cheery** life? So not fair!

Sometimes I wish I could turn back time and change every decision I've made. Maybe my life would be completely different right now. Would it be better? I'm not sure. When I really think about that, when I put all my heart into it, I know that despite all the shitty stuff that's happened in my life so far, it turned me into who I am today, and I've never thought I could be like this, you know? So, maybe I wouldn't change a thing. Perhaps what I should do is learn how to deal with my own feelings; I shouldn't be so attached to my emotions. I won't be. So that's it. This is what I can promise you in this letter.

Love,

Brooke Davis.

**--**

Peyton knocks on a closed door.

Brooke is inside the guest room, lying on the bed. She quickly finishes signing her name on a piece of paper and folds it, "Come on in." she shouts, sitting straight up.

"Are you OK?" Peyton opens the door but doesn't come in, she stands still at the doorframe, "We are waiting for you. Little Jamie is getting all the attention, but I really think he'd rather be with his brand new Godmother."

"Isn't he the smartest little boy ever?" she places the letter inside of her purse then walks towards her friend.

"What were you doing?" Peyton frowns, directing her gaze to Brooke.

"Nothing really." She avoids eye contact. "Come on, we better get going." She holds her friend's hand, leading them outside the bedroom.

They head to the leaving room. There are some of their friends chatting around the place. Bevin and Skills are making out in the kitchen. Haley's parents are talking to Deb and Karen. Lucas and Nathan are playing with Jamie and Lilly. The atmosphere of the place is really nice; it feels like home to be there. It's like a huge family reunion. Brooke glances around smiling, to her that was the only family she knew she could count on.

The reception after the baptism is a lot better than the time they spent at the church. Everyone is being loud to compensate the amount of time they had to remain in silence. There is rustling and clattering noises all around. Brooke grabs a can of soda, her best friend pulls her by the hand and they join the boys and the babies.

Jamie stretches his arms in Brooke's direction as soon as he spots her. Lucas chuckles, "Guess we know who his favorite is." he says, handing her his godson.

"Well, can't blame a guy for being so clever." Brooke giggles while kissing Jamie's little cheeks.

"Plus he is a Scott after all." Peyton rolls her eyes, "And we know how the Scott boys drool over one hot Brooke Davis." She smirks.

Brooke burst into a raucous laugh, "Let me see, that's why _one hot Brooke Davis_ is married or dating a Scott looking boy… Not." She smiles teasingly.

Jamie giggles with the sound of Brooke's words; he is sucking on his fingers, which makes him drool all over her chest. "Now, if by drooling over me, you mean _that_." She points at her wet blouse, "Then I'd say you are totally right."

The young woman pulls his nappy from Nathan's hand and cleans herself; she rubs it carefully against Jamie's little hands and mouth. She mumbles a few words in a childish voice looking at the baby she is holding, but neither of the grown ups understand what she is saying. They don't care anyway, yet they exchange warm smiles. Lilly giggles and reaches for the nappy hanging from Brooke's hands in front of her. Nathan has the little girl sat on his lap.

Lucas takes the nappy from Brooke. "Let me help you with this." he helps her to get Jamie all dry. The baby pulls his hands away from his uncle, while Brooke tries to keep him from moving.

Peyton watches the scene and senses a strange feeling coming over her. At first, she can't distinguish what it is and where it's coming from, but as soon as she hears Brooke's giggles and sees Lucas playing with her and Jamie, she understands exactly what it is. She is jealous, _really_ jealous. She feels compelled to grab Lucas' arms and walk away from her friend. From all of them. The blond girl doesn't know how to make that feeling go away. She is mentally disturbed. The volume of their laughs and voices are irritating her. She can't take her eyes off Lucas' hands, he is holding one of Jamie's chubby legs and slightly touching Brooke's arm. Peyton goes in panic mode thinking she is about to choke. She feels unstable and totally out of place. Peyton takes a deep breath. She is the one Lucas has chosen, not Brooke, _her_. She knows she doesn't need to feel threatened by her best friend. Lucas loves _her_ and as far as she knows Brooke loves her too. She bits her lower lip, overthinking the situation. But the fact that she loves Brooke didn't make _her_ stay away from her best friend's boyfriend before, why would it be any different for Brooke? Peyton sighs heavily once more. Brooke _isn't _in love with Lucas. She keeps repeating the words to herself over and over again. She holds on to that thought.

"I will go get something to drink." Peyton announces distantly, and as soon as she says it, she heads to the kitchen.

**--**

Haley is washing a few dishes; she is wearing a red stripped apron. Peyton comes near, "Hey, Hales. Do you need any help?"

"Nah, it's fine. I just needed to get out of there for a while." She motions her head and eyes toward her parents and mother in law.

Peyton laughs inwardly. "Is it that bad?" she sits, placing both of her hands on top of the dinning table.

"You know what? It's actually better than I thought it would be, but it's still awkward."

The blonde nods in agreement.

"What about you?" she turns around to face her, "What's bothering you?"

The taller girl in front of her frowns. "What you mean?" she forces a smile.

Haley chuckles, "You can't fool me, Peyton. There is something wrong, I noticed since the minute you walked past that door." she points to the kitchen entrance. "Besides, you wouldn't be here talking to me if something wasn't bothering you. Don't get me wrong, but I saw you back there with Lucas and Brooke. What's wrong?" she smirks.

_Busted_. Peyton rolls her eyes trying to fake any sign of jealousy, "Nothing is wrong." She scoffs nervously.

Haley sits in front of her. She holds her hands, looking right into her friend's eyes. "Peyton, Lucas is completely in love with you. He talks about you all the time, it's annoying, really. So if there is something going on you need to tell me."

The skinny girl lets out a sigh. She is feeling guilty, how can she doubt Lucas' love for her, or even Brooke's? They are best friends and she shouldn't be feeling like that. But there is something else bothering her, and she knows it. Maybe that's the reason why she felt jealous in the first place. She just can't find the courage to say it out loud. She does not know how to tell Haley what is really bugging her. She breaths in deeply, pulling her hands away. "I mean it, Hales. There is nothing wrong." She announces with more confidence this time.

She knows that her friend doesn't believe her, but she decides to ignore that fact. They smile halfheartedly to each other. "Ok then. But if you need to talk, you know where to find me."

"I know." She nods gratefully.

The dark haired girl stands up, walks towards Nathan and gives him a soft kiss. Peyton watches them from the distance; she turns to glance at Brooke, who's still holding Jamie. Lucas is right beside her. They are giggling and making funny faces at the little boy. Nathan hands Haley a sleepy Lilly. She smiles at the little girl rocking her in her arms. _It's the picture of a perfect family._ Peyton shakes her head brushing away the jealousy that was almost taking over her again. She stands up quickly.

The young woman walks unnoticed into the guest room. She glances at her cell phone standing on the dresser and goes to get it. When she holds the device, she checks for missing calls. There are three; all of them belong to the same person. She closes her eyes, breathing in deeply. She needs to make a decision, but she is still too scared to think about the consequences of taking that step, let alone talking to someone about it. She wishes she could tell Brooke. The last few weeks in LA weren't as great as they kept telling everyone. Somehow they were growing apart from each other, and for no specific reason – or at least no reason that Peyton could think of.

She takes another deep breath before dialing a number.

"Hi... It's Peyton." She says in a weak voice.

The conversation is very brief. She listens a lot more than she speaks; she paces around the bedroom with one of her hands placed on her hips. She is anxious. Peyton sits on the edge of the bed. "Yes, eight o'clock will be perfect." She announces promptly. "I will be there." She flips her cell phone closed.

It takes a while until she is finally herself again. She stands up and walks outside the bedroom, feeling somewhat relieved.

* * *


	3. Not what it seems

**A/N:** _I'm so glad you are enjoying the story. Special thanks to_ **Oreo5228, brookenlucas4eva03, othfan326 **and** toddntan. **_You guys definitely got me writing much more. So prepare yourself for quick updates lol Also thanks to everyone else who __took the time to read or add me to your alerts and/or favorites- thank you all. Oh, and thanks _**Belle**_ for reading it (cause I know you do when I ask you lmao)_

_And of course, thanks to my best friend _**Lucca (BleedLikeMe)**_ who is so supportive and helpful. If it wasn't for her I don't think I'd be writing all of this. So, thank you for being such a great beta reader and friend. I love you._

**Disclaimer: **_the introduction belongs to _The Hush Sound_, its part of their lyrics for _"Love You Much Better". _I do not own any of One Tree Hill characters or similarity with the show._

_

* * *

_**Not what it seems.**

_Why do you sing_ to everybody but me?  
_Why do _I let it go on_?  
__You've got such a _music box song_ in my head all day long.  
__You fell for a girl with wild eyes, dressed in satin and lace.  
__I can_ love you _much better  
__If you can't see it you're blind_

**Letter #85**

Broody,

Today was such a complicated day. To be honest, the whole week was really difficult. As you already know, my mother decided to show up, just like that. She didn't say anything about coming over, she just showed up one day and did everything that was in her power to make mine and Peyton's life a living hell. Thank God she had to go before we put our plan of killing her into action. Otherwise you'd be visiting us in jail right now. Geez, that woman drives me crazy! Can you believe she actually took all my sketches away? She said they were "as good as I was capable of making them" – what's that supposed to mean? – And that she was going to take them all to one of her _friends_. Trust me, I did not want her taking anything to anyone, specially **my** designs, but if that would make her go away I'd design a whole _Bitchoria Line_ in one breath. I just don't want to depend on her, not that I do, but you know what I mean.

The good part of her precious visit was that Peyton and I got closer again. I mean, we hadn't fought or anything, but I guess things between us got a little weird… to be honest; **I** was getting distant from **her**. I take all the blame. But every time we started a conversation it would end up with **her** telling **me** how much she misses **you** or how glad she is that you have each other. There was nothing else to talk about. I don't even have to say how much that would depress me, right? I wish I was over you, in fact that's all I want. From the bottom of my heart, I want to **stop** loving you so much. My life would be so much easier that way.

But lately things are better. I don't know if it's just my imagination but I think Peyton realized I don't want to talk about her fairy tale so much. I'm not sure, but she isn't talking about you two as much as she was used to. I might be totally wrong, but since we got back from Jamie's baptism she is acting kind of suspicious. She is always working late, and by late I mean **really **late, and she is always tired. I don't know what's going on with her anymore, but I guess that now that she is so exhausted she can't find the time to babble about how perfect her life is. Yeah, that's probably it. _Am I being too awful?_

And talking about being awful, I miss you **so much**, Luke. It's been almost a month since we saw each other and it feels like ages. I wonder if you think of me as much as I think of you. Duh, of course you don't. You have you own perfect girlfriend to think about. _Am I ever going to stop wishing I was Peyton? _She is so lucky to have you loving her back. _And I am so tired of feeling sorry for myself!_

This has got to stop!

I **need** to make these feelings go away, I need to **stop** thinking about you first thing in the morning and last thing before I go to bed. You don't deserve that much of me. I can't let you destroy me again, I have to be stronger. But why is it **so** hard? I couldn't do that to Peyton, she deserves a friend who isn't thinking about her boyfriend 24/7, isn't that the reason I was mad at her in the first place? Because she said _she still had feelings for you_? Am I becoming the backstabbing bitch I hated so much?

I need to do something about that. I just wish you could help me.

God! I don't want to write another gloomy letter, or I'd have to throw it away like I did with the last five. So let me tell you something exciting:

Tomorrow will be a big day. I will get the answer from that Design School in New York, I'm freaking out about the idea of not being accepted. I really want this, Lucas. And that means I won't probably get it, it's not like I **always** get what **I** want anyway. I need to be positive though, I know. I worked really hard the whole summer, and I sent them my best designs. I'm glad Victoria didn't see them before or I'd be ruined. I still didn't have the guts to tell Peyton about it. I'm afraid to jinx it, you know? I mean, if I tell her then she will get all excited and I'll be over excited and if it doesn't work out the way I want it to, I'll be crushed. So it's better keeping it to myself, right?

Wish me luck.

_Not-So-_**Cheery**

--

**To the sound of jazz.**

Peyton walks in a crowed bar, she scans the place, searching for a familiar face. But there's no one she can recognize. She walks slowly, heading to the counter. "A diet coke, please." she asks the bartender. Before sitting down she glances around one more time.

The place is nice, there is a jazz band playing on the small wooden stage. The blonde peers behind her shoulder to take a better look at them. The music is smooth and soothing. She is enjoying it and as far as she can tell so is everyone else. The boy behind the counter hands her a drink, she thanks him with a smile before taking a sip, and searches around again.

Peyton stays there for about an hour. She looks bored and is about to leave when someone holds her arm. "Dude! You wanna kill me?" she shoves her arm free and stares angry at the man in front of her.

He chuckles, "I didn't mean to scare you, Blondie." he tantalizes.

"I thought you asked me to stop by at 8 o'clock." she crosses her arms on her chest. "It's almost 9pm."

"Whoa, _feisty_, calm down." he holds one hand up so she would stop complaining, "I had things to do, not that I have to explain anything to you anyway." he scoffs. "Come on, let's take a sit." the short man holds her by the arm, leading them to a reserved table.

She goes along with him, they sit and he smirks at her almost immediately.

"So, have you thought about my offer?"

"I wouldn't be here if i didn't have, would I?" she smiles sarcastically.

"And..." he motions his hands so she would keep talking.

"Why did you wanna talk business in the middle of a bar?" she questions, looking around.

"Well, miss Sawyer. If you want to get into the business, you need to know where to find your gold." he bends a little, approaching her face "You see that man over there?" he points to a fat man sitting in front of the stage, "He is Alicia Key's manager, and he is doing the exact same thing we are. He is looking for his next talent."

"Here?" she frowns, scanning around.

The man ignores her irony and only nods. "Anyway, you will learn a lot, but right now I need your answer. We gave you some time to think as you asked, but the summer is over now. And we need to know if you are willing to stay."

"Will I still get the assistant's position?"

"The assistant's assistant." he corrected her with a grin.

"And I'll be able to work my usual time? No extra shifts?"

He nods, still grinning.

"I'll take it." she isn't as excited as she thought she'd be.

"Perfect!" his grin is larger now; he calls the waiter and asks for two glasses of champanhe. Peyton is annoyed.

--

**To b****e or not to be.**

Brooke wakes up early; she is nervous and somewhat afraid of getting out of bed. She knows she needs to go outside and check the mail box, but she is too scared to face the fact that she might not get the good news she is waiting for. She hears the front door opening and closing. The brunette girl sighs in relieve. Peyton is out to work, now she will be able to cry her eyes out once she reads she wasn't accepted. She breathes in deeply.

"Come on, B. Davis. You can do this!" she says right before standing up.

The girl goes straight to her bathroom, she takes a quick glance at the mirror and smiles to herself, then she grabs her toothbrush and tooth paste. She is shaking, it's like her dream is about to be taken away from her… again.

Brooke brushes her teeth and puts her hair up in a ponytail. She sighs heavily a few times and finds the courage to go outside. As soon as she sees the mail box full she flinches. She walks slowly towards it, but suddenly backs away.

"Maybe I can do this _after_ breakfast." She says to herself, biting her lower lip.

The brunette walks back in.

She closes the door behind her and leans against it. She closes her eyes. The phone starts ringing and she is glad she will have someone, _anyone_, to talk to. This will be a good distraction, perfect timing. She smiles to herself before picking it up.

"Hello!" she says excited.

"Well hello to you to, one cheery girl." He laughs.

"Lucas! Hi!" she is even more excited now.

"How are you, Brooke Davis?

"I'm good… in fact, I'm great, couldn't be better. And you know why? I will tell you why! Because I really needed to talk to someone this morning and BAM there you are!"

Lucas giggles, "Are you sure you're ok, you sound really –"

"Happy? Excited? Overwhelmed?" she cuts him off.

"Yeah I think I could use some of those words." He pauses, "But only if I didn't know you any better." He completes, "What's going on, Brooke?"

"Well, nothing is going on, Lucas Scott. I'm just super hyper!"

"At six am?" he ponders, "I don't think so, spill it out."

Brooke rolls her eyes, she knows she is trapped; she needs to either find a good excuse or tell him the truth.

--

**Summer time.**

Haley is holding little James in her arms, they are walking on the beach and the gentle wind blows their faces. The baby has a cute blue cap on his head and his momma is wearing an adorable summer dress. Haley has one of her hands holding her son's head close to her chest so the sand won't get in touch with his eyes. Even thought there is a cool breeze blowing around then, it's a hot sunny day.

Nathan is sitting on the sand, under a shade; he is wearing sunglasses and no shirt. He waves at his wife and son with a big smile. They come up to him slowly. The young man let his arms falls back to rest on the sand, "You guys took forever!" he complains with a smirk.

"Daddy is already mad at us, _Jamie-Jam._" Haley talks to her son in a baby voice.

The baby giggles. The girl sits besides her husband and places Jamie on his baby blanket; he wiggles and grabs a rubber toy taking it straight to his mouth.

"Did you call your mom?" Haley asks, taking the toy out of her son's mouth and giving it back to him.

"Yes, she said she will be home in two or three weeks, which is when we will need her to watch Jamie." He smiles caressing his son's cheeks. "I still can't believe the summer is almost over, I will miss spending the whole day with you two." He pulls Haley closer to a kiss.

"I'm just glad Deb is coming home. I was freaking out with the possibility of leaving James at the day care, he is so young…" she looks at him, "Sometimes I'm not sure if I should go to college. I should be home with my baby." She sounds childish.

Nathan stares at her, "No way, Hales. You need to go to college; you can be a stay at home mom to our other kids if you want to. But you are way too young to give up on your dreams. And Jamie will be fine, and very proud of his momma."

"I know…" she smiles at him. "It's just –"

"Yeah." He cuts her off, "I understand, baby. I will be worried too, but we need to do this for him too."

The young woman nods emotionally. Nathan kissed her again. James is playing with his little feet, he giggles at his parents.

Haley immediately breaks the kiss, "What you mean… our other kids?" she frowns.

Nathan laughs.

--

**Stronger.**

Brooke paces around the living room, she knows she can tell him, but at the same time she is sure that if she tells him he will make her go outside again. And she isn't ready for that yet. She thinks about an excuse, any that she can come up with, but she has nothing. She can't think about anything besides the letter on the mail box.

"Come on, Brooke. Did something happen?" he was definitely getting worried with her silence.

"Did you call to talk to Peyton, 'cause she isn't here right now." She says abruptly, changing the subject.

"I know she is not. I just called her cell phone and she said you were acting weird all week, so I decided to check on you."

_Damn you, Peyton Sawyer. _Brooke shuts her eyes tight, she wasn't sure Peyton had noticed her nervousness during the last few days, and she certainly didn't expect her _best friend_ to call her _ex_ boyfriend, currently _her very own_ boyfriend, to ask _him_ to check on _her_. That is just insane.

"Whoa, and you decided to call me at six in the morning?" she sounds surprised, "God, Luke. Why would you want to wake me up this early?"

He laughs hard. He knows what she is doing. She is so predictable, at least to him. He finds adorable that she keeps trying to change the subject instead of just talking to him. He also knows that he needs to play her game; he will not be able to take anything out from her if he isn't patient.

"Peyton also knew you were awake. She heard you tossing and turning all night." He finally says.

"That _biatch_!" Brooke's voice is louder, "Why didn't she just talk to me then?"

"She guessed that if you didn't come to her, it was because you didn't want to tell her anything. She didn't want to push you. She was giving you some space."

"Oh right, and asking _you _to talk to me is pretty much a _'not-pushing-you'_ way of giving me space, uh?" she says ironically.

"Ok, so now you are mad at her for being worried at you?" he asks confused.

"No?" she sits, "It's just –"

"What? You are starting to scare me." Lucas cuts her off.

Brooke takes a deep breath. "There is this school in New York. It's an art school, one of the best ones in the whole country. It's like the place every young designer wants to go to. It's like Harvard for… geek kids. And I applied last month –"

"That's great, Brooke." He cuts her off excited.

"I know, but now there is a letter saying if I got accepted or not. And I'm too afraid to open it." She is finally honest with him.

"You don't have to, Brooke. I'm sure you got in." he says sincerely. "Come on, I'll be with you, and if they didn't accept you it will be their mistake, and you know what? I'm sure they do not want to lose the opportunity of having such great designer in their school."

The girl smiles heartedly. "You know how to cheer a girl up, don't you Luke?" she chuckles nervously.

"I try my best." He smiles too, "Now come on, go get that letter."

Brooke walks to the door; they share a few other words before she gets to the mail box. Lucas keeps saying positive things; he tries to make her understand that she has nothing to be afraid of. After talking to him she is more confident, she gets the letter and goes back inside the house. She sits on the couch with the letter on her lap. Brooke sighs a few times before tearing the envelope open.

"So?" Lucas asks impatient.

Brooke can sense his tension from the other line of the phone. She reads silently.

"Brooke?" he calls her, anxious.

"Oh my God." She takes her hand to cover her mouth. "It must be some mistake." She reads it all over again.

"What does it say, Brooke?" he can't tell what it is by the sound of her voice. Lucas wishes he was there with her, for the first time in a long time, he wishes Brooke was in Tree Hill and that they were sharing this moment in person. He sighs, being taken away by his thoughts. Lucas wants to hold her in case she got a bad answer and he certainly wants to celebrate with her if it's a positive answer. For a moment he fells nostalgic and a bit unhappy.

"I got accepted!" she yells, bringing him back to reality. The girl jumps from the couch and runs through the living room cheering in excitement. "Oh my God, I can't believe it! This is so great, can you believe it, Luke?!" she laughs. "I got in!!" she repeats.

"Congratulations, Brooke! I knew you'd be accepted." he says sympathetically and sighs in relief. "I told you that you were gonna do great in the real world, didn't I?" he sounds sweet.

"Thank you, Lucas. I don't think I'd be able to open this if you weren't with me."

"You would. And you know why? Because you are a strong woman, Brooke Davis, the strongest person I've ever met. And you should never doubt that. I'm very proud of you." He smiles, "There is nothing holding you back now, you will do great."

* * *

_So what you think? Hope you like it! Let me know, ok? And if you want to ask for something special for the fiction just say it. Btw, the Naley scene is dedicated to _Toddian – _after all you requested – I promise to keep them in the story longer. :) thanks again, guys! S2_


	4. My Last Mistake

**A/N:** _As promised this is a very fast update; I will probably take longer to post the next one though – but don't worry, it will come sooner then you think. Special thanks to my sweet reviewers: _**o****reo5228, toddntan **and** brookenlucas4eva03**._Also thanks to one of my greatest friends _**Belle**_ for the support. And last, but not least, my perfect beta reader _**Lucca (BleedLikeMe)**_._

_You might think that the Naley storyline has nothing to do with the rest of the fiction, but be patient; soon it will all make sense. _

**Disclaimer: **_the introduction belongs to _Alanis Morissette_, its part of her lyrics for _"You Oughta Know". _I do not own anything besides my own ideas._

* * *

**My last mistake.**

_I want you to know, that I'm _happy_ for you  
__I want _nothing_ but _the best for you both  
_(…)  
__You seem _very well_, things look peaceful  
I'm _not quite as well_, I thought you should know_

**Letter #86**

Lucas,

You know when you have that kind of dream, when you are falling from some really high place and you never hit the ground? You want to scream but there is **no voice**, you just can't do anything. So you keep falling and falling... did you ever have a dream like that?

Lately my life is just like this dream. I feel like I just jumped from the top of the highest building and I'm falling. There is nothing I can do about it. I can't scream, I can't find anything to hold on to. There is no safe exit; there is **no exit** at all. I keep going down, faster and faster. The feeling is overwhelming and it's not something I can control. It hurts so much, the pain is unbearable. And I don't even know when it started, or how to make it go away.

I realized that I keep sinking into sorrow, but today it occurred to me that I will drown unless I drag myself out. I read something at _Ophra's Magazine_ that might have changed my life. OK, if it didn't change it, it will help me to change **someday**, you know? So it was something like:_ "Whatever happened ten years ago, ten minutes ago, is not your present concern. Neither is what will happen in another ten year, another ten minutes. This moment is all you have to worry about. Narrowing your attention to this point is your reconnection with solid ground."_ And that's all I need. I need solid ground, and only coming back to the present will put me back in reality. But **how** can I do that?

Peyton asked me to go with her to Tree Hill last night, but I couldn't. I knew it would be too difficult for me to have to say **goodbye** to you again. Plus, I figured you both needed some time alone, she said she'd tell you all about the internship, and you two would definitely have a fight, or at least a big discussion, after all she decided to stay for another year here in LA without even talking to you about it – all her words – I know that deep inside you will understand that this is something she needs to do, she always dreamt about becoming this huge _music-related_ person, and this will be great for her. But I know that, just like me, you will wish she had told us before, right? But I guess she had her reasons to hide it, maybe the same reasons I had to hide from her the fact that I got accepted at the art school.

It's just odd. This whole hiding things from each other, you know? We used to be so close and now each day seems to drift us apart a little bit, even though we are trying not to let this happen. I'm not sure why this is happening, but it feels like we both have this shield protecting us from each other.

She came back home earlier than I expected, she said she **needed** to ask me something. For a flinch of a second I thought you both had broken up, I really wished for that. Which makes me such an awful friend, I know. But that would give me another chance to fight for you, not that I would, but it's nice to think that I could – whatever. So, Peyton said you were **so** understanding and we spent most of the night talking about you. This is still hard for me, you know? But after a while I got used to it, and now it seems quite normal.

Does this mean anything at all?

Brooke Davis.

**--**

**I miss this.**

Both girls are settling down underneath their favorite tree by the sea. It is their last day of summer and somehow they know it means the beginning of their life as adults. They are wearing matching bikinis and their drinks are placed beside them on top of a small white box. There is also a wireless iPod deck on top of it, and one of Peyton's favorite song is on.

"I'm really glad you decided to stay, Brooke." she shuts her eyes, looking blissfully relaxed as the sun shines calmly down upon them.

"I am too, P. Sawyer." She smiles, jerking her gaze away from the glimmering ocean and back onto her best friend.

The blonde opens her eyes, staring right back at Brooke. They exchange smiles. "I missed this, you know." Peyton says, before staring back at the sea. "I don't want to feel like we are distant from each other ever again."

"Well, you don't have to worry then, _best friend_. Because I'm not going anywhere!"

"Good." She turns her head to look ahead again. "I'm sorry Brooke." She says sincerely.

"You're sorry for what?" the brunette questions, staring at her.

"Not telling you before… about staying in LA, about the internship and everything." She looks back at her. "I didn't know how to talk to Lucas about that, and I'm sorry I didn't talk to you before. I was just trying to figure things out. Plus, I wasn't sure I was going to say yes, I just –"

"It's ok, Peyt. I understand." She cuts her off. "Besides, I'm glad you said yes, this will be a great opportunity for you. No one deserves it better." She forces a smile. "And I knew Lucas would support you. He loves you very much, you shouldn't be afraid of talking to him about it."

The blonde girl smiles at her friend's honesty. "I know… I guess I was scared by the possibility of us breaking up because I decided to stay."

"You two breaking up?" she grins. "Never happening, P. Sawyer." Brooke takes a sip from her drink.

The other girl giggles. "But I only said yes cause I knew I'd count on you, I was sure you'd agree staying with me, you know that, right?" she smiles at her sincerely, "I don't think I could do this on my own. I'm not ready to be all alone."

"You are not alone, Peyton. Don't ever say that. You have Lucas, and most importantly, you have me!" she smirks.

"And _you_, turned out to be the perfect roommate." She smiles.

"I know, right?" Brooke giggles, "Besides, I wasn't ready to leave California just yet." She winks at her friend and motions her head at some boy walking past them.

Peyton chuckles, the wind blowing her hair back.

"It's been a while since you had a date", the blonde says hastily.

"What?" Brooke chokes.

"Date, Brooke. It's been a while." She watches her carefully.

"That is _so_ not true. I'm dating a lot." She lies.

"Oh, really?" Peyton laughs, "How come I've never seen any of these dates around?"

"Well _missy_, that's because I don't want to risk having _you_ all over my guys." Brooke teases and winks at her friend. She stands up quickly, before Peyton asks another uncomfortable question. "I'll go for a walk, wanna join me?" she asks, knowing the answer.

"No, thanks. I'll wait here."

"Ok." Brooke turns her back to the other girl, letting out a sigh.

--

**My turn.**

Haley and Nathan are sleeping. He is lying on his back and has his hand over Haley's belly. The room is quiet and dark, the only sound surrounding the place comes from their peaceful sighs.

Jamie is in his crib, in his own room, awake. He is chewing at some rubber toy while looking at the mobile hanging over the crib, seemingly amused by it. He keeps staring at the toys moving slowly at his sight.

He tosses to the side, dropping his rubber toy from the crib. Jamie doesn't move for a moment, but suddenly starts crying. His cries get louder and louder once he realizes no one is coming to rescue him.

When Nathan hears his son's cry, he wakes up immediately. Haley turns on the nightstand lamp as soon as she hears the baby.

"Don't worry, it's my turn." Nathan kisses her forehead sweetly. "You go back to sleep." He stands up, reaching for his flip flops. "I'll go check on him."

The woman nods, covering her eyes with her hands to block the brightness coming from the lamp. She turns it off, before going back to sleep.

Nathan walks towards James crib. The baby stops crying as soon as he sees his daddy. He even giggles a little by the image of the man. Nathan holds him, grabs his pacifier and blanket. "What's up, buddy?" he heads to the rocking chair. "Did you miss daddy?" he kisses him.

Jamie mumbles, playing with his dad's fingers. The young man gives the pacifier to him, and starts rocking the baby. Slowly Jamie's eyes drops closed.

--

**A huge mistake.**

Brooke is her room, folding some clothes on her bed. The girl seems annoyed while talking on the phone.

"Brooke you cannot be seriously considering this." His voice is sharp. "It's one great opportunity you will be missing! Do you have any idea when you will get a chance that's even remotely as good as this one again?"

"God, Lucas. It's just a few classes." Brooke rolls her eyes, "It's not like I'm wasting my whole life or anything. Besides, I can get in again next year." She bites her lower lip, trying to convince herself too. She knows Lucas is right, if she says no to the best fashion design school in NY once, she will never be able to get in again. Not even if her parents offer to buy her a spot there.

"Just a few _classes_? What about the whole 'this will make me the greatest fashion designer New York could ever see' speech? Are you out of your mind? You _know_ you won't get another chance. You can't put life on hold."

"I'm not putting it on hold. I'll be taking a few classes, but I will be doing it here."

"It's not the same, Brooke, and you know it! What does Peyton think about that?" he asks promptly, "I can't believe she will let you do this."

"She doesn't know anything about it, and _you_ better not tell her." She threatens, "Luke, you are overreacting. I know what I'm doing here; you don't have to worry about it."

Lucas remains in silence, he doesn't know what else he can do or say to make Brooke change her mind, once the girl has made up her mind nothing will make her think twice. He sighs in frustration and she can sense the tension between them.

"Just promise me one thing. You won't do anything until we talk."

"We are talking, Lucas."

"I mean in person. I'm coming over."

"Wh-What?" she stutters, too shocked to react in any other way.

"I will be there by tomorrow… so, just don't do anything. Can you promise me that?" he says quickly.

Brooke is speechless.

_to be continued…_

* * *

_So, tell me what you think and what you expect from Lucas' visit._


	5. In a blink of an eye

**A/N**: _I know it's been a while, but I promise to try updating here more often, I was really busy the last couple of weeks not to mention having a huge writer's block. But I hope to be back soon, if you have any ideas how the story should continue, just let me know. _

_Special thanks to_ **toddntan** _(I need to read your new story yet, now that I'm on break from college I will do it!) and _**colorless ideas** _(thank you so much for commenting, sis! I hope you enjoy the update, 'cause I'm waiting for yours)._

**Disclaimer**: _Unfortunately I do not own any of OTH characters. The introduction song is _Rehab_ by _Rhianna_._

* * *

**In ****a blink of an eye.**

_And I'll _never_ give myself to another  
__The way I gave it to you  
__Don't even recognize  
__The ways _you hurt me_, do you?  
__Gonna take a miracle _to bring me back  
_And you're the one to _blame

Brooke paces around her bedroom. She really doesn't know what to say to him. Of course she'd wait if he was coming all the way to California just to tell her not to waste a huge opportunity, but at the same time she doesn't want to deal with Lucas, especially not after admitting to herself she is still in love with him. Not to mention knowing Peyton would be there with them, and she isn't ready to share a house with the perfect couple.

"You don't need to come." she says immediately.

"What?" he is confused.

"I mean... you are right. I need to talk to Peyton. And if she says it's best for me to leave, then I'll go." She starts. "Plus, I don't really think I'd get the chance to get in again, so it _is _my only chance to have –"

Lucas chuckles, which makes her stop babbling.

"What is it now?" she asks with a raspy voice. The conversation was starting to frustrate her in so many levels.

"I'm going anyway, Brooke. It's Peyton's birthday, remember?" he giggles.

She is astonished for a moment.

"Oh, of course! Peyton's birthday!" Brooke slaps her own forehead, shutting her eyes tight. How could she be so reckless? How could she think Lucas was coming all the way to LA just for _her_? "So that's it, I will see you at the party, then. Bye Lucas." She hangs up before he could add anything else.

Brooke throws herself on top of the bed. She places her hands covering her face. It was amazing how he could still do that to her. She was jealous and pissed off. Lucas, as usual, had taken her from huge happiness and hope to sadness and despair.

--

**Fever.**

Nathan stands up slowly not to wake the baby on his arms. But as soon as he gets close to the crib, Jamie starts crying again. The little boy had done this a couple of times now, he wouldn't stop crying until Nathan was back on the rocking chair, holding him close to his body. The man is tired and defeated.

Haley walks into the nursery room. She rubs her eyes gently, trying to adjust to the light coming from the baby's nightstand. "What's wrong?" she asks with a sleepy voice.

"I don't know." He seems confused.

Haley approaches them, taking her son on her arms. "Oh my God, he is burning up." she adds, staring at Nathan.

The young man is so sleepy he doesn't understand her at first, but as soon as her words sink in, he stands up. "Are you sure?" he goes to the bathroom and grabs the first aid-kit.

"Yeah, I'm sure. That's why he is so fuzzy."

"I can't believe I didn't notice my son has a fever!" Nathan shakes his head frustrated, handing the thermometer to his wife.

Haley places it gently below Jamie's arm-pit. "It's ok, baby." she whispers when the little boy complains with a few moans, trying to fight against the thermometer. She holds his small hands softly. Nathan helps her, the woman turns to face him, "It's not your fault, sweetie."

"I should have noticed something. He is all irritable and inconsolable, not to mention he is burning up."

She forces a smile, although she wants to tell him everything is ok, she is scared as hell and can't come up with the right words to comfort him. "Don't worry. It's ok, you are sleepy and you've been here with him for a long time, I probably wouldn't notice it either." she lies and checks for the temperature, "It's not so bad" she pauses "I think." Haley frowns, showing Nathan the thermometer, "maybe some Tylenol would help bring the fever down, I don't know, he never got sick before! We should call Dr. Brown." She starts panicking.

He nods immediately in response.

--

**The half truth.**

Brooke tip toes towards Peyton's bed; she sits on the edge gently, trying not to wake her up. She manages to stand up again, but gives up; she keeps staring at the girl. Peyton doesn't open her eyes, but she knows Brooke is there. "What's wrong?" she asks in a sleepy voice, not moving a bit.

The sound of her voice doesn't surprise Brooke; she was expecting Peyton to do it so. It was just like that for them, since they were kids; it was like they could read each other's minds.

"I don't know." Brooke sighs.

"You always know what is wrong, Brooke." she moans, opening her eyes, glancing around the room to find her friend sitting next to her.

Brooke bits her lower lips, she doesn't say a word. That's the bad thing about knowing someone so much; you can't lie to them for too long.

"Did you have a bad dream?" Peyton mutters sarcastically.

The brunette rolls her eyes, "Ha, funny, P. Sawyer."

They grin at each other, "Seriously, Brooke. What happened?" she questions, sitting up, "Don't tell me it's nothing or that you don't know 'cause then I'll have to be pretty pissed at you for waking me up, and we promise not to fight anymore."

"There is something I need to tell you."

Peyton fells a knot forming on her stomach; she breathes in deeply, every time they start a conversation with "I need to tell you something" it won't end up very well. And by the look upon her best friend's face, she is sure it will be one of these awkward talks. "You know you can tell me everything." She forces a sincere smile, but her lips curls into a nervous one.

--

**Wait until tomorrow.**

Haley is talking to Jamie's pediatrician. She looks apprehensive. Nathan is rocking his son, pacing around her, while she is sitting on the edge of the rocking chair.

"I understand you _are_ a doctor and all, but are you sure?" Haley questions, "My mom always told me that something was wrong when we used to have a fever. We couldn't even go to school!"

"I'm positive, Haley. Mild fevers are common and usually harmless, plus it's normal for babies to get sick now and then." He says in a sweet tone, "Are there any other symptoms accompanying the fever?"

"No, not really. He is fuzzy and –" She pauses, "he was crying a lot and can't fall back asleep, but besides that we didn't notice anything different."

"Ok. You don't need to panic then. Bringing down the temperature doesn't cure the cause of the fever, but it can make James feel more comfortable. So just give him some ibuprofen and come to the hospital tomorrow morning. He will be fine, I promise." He reassures her for the tenth time. "But remember, you have to focus on _him_ and how _he_ is feeling, rather than on a particular degree of fever. Remember what I told you: it's not unusual for a baby to have a fairly high fever with just a mild illness. Conversely, a very sick child may have a low fever, or even no fever at all. So don't worry. If you notice anything different you give me a call and I'll be there in no time."

"How much should I give him?" she asks in a scared tone.

Dr. Brown giggles. "Just follow package directions based on his weight. He will be fine with just one dropper - 1.25ml - or one chewable tab."

"Ok." She says unsure.

"Even if his temperature doesn't budge, you don't need to freak out, unless he has other worrisome symptoms, such as febrile seizures. But I'm sure he won't. James is a strong baby, and tomorrow we'll see what's wrong, alright?"

"Ok." She repeats with the same tone she had before.

"Trust your instincts, Haley." He adds before saying goodnight and hanging up.

* * *

_Should I keep this up?_


End file.
